Friday, May 11, 2012

A Fortnight Into Adulthood

     I've now been an adult for 15 days. Perfect. But life doesn't seem much different from how it did when I was, so to say, a minor. A few friends gave me an amazing birthday treasure-hunt surprise and I had the best birthday I have ever had. I have had quite a reputation of squarely ruining my birthdays or having others do the honours on my behalf. B)
     So, this birthday was a break from the otherwise predictable groove of routine occurrences. When I had my grade 12 'Board' exams going on, and when I found time enough to write but not to blog, I made a list of things I could definitely do and definitely couldn't, once I would be 18.
     Here's the list. Discretion advised. Could-be-age-inappropriate stuff ahead. *Makes it sound dramatic*






What I cannot do:
1) Contest for 'Chhote Ustaad'. (It's a 'reality' singing competition for which I tried out only once and found it a sham. And I am definitely not rationalising -__-)
2) Get hitched. :P Yes, yes. I am just desperately waiting to turn 21! (the legal marriageable age for men is 21 and that for women is 18. I am of the opinion that it should have no considerations on the basis of sex, which it sadly does)
3) Become a juvenile delinquent and be sent to a remand home.*
4) Drink legally (yet). (The legal drinking age in India is touted to be 25. All I know is that it's not 18. O__o)


What I can do:
1) Ride a motorcycle/scooter/car once I get trained and apply for a licence.
2) Have sex.
3) Vote.
4) *Become a criminal (and be sentenced to life-imprisonment or death). B0
5) Move out (and sit in the VT subway, possibly begging).
6) Apply to hostels for adults.
7) Watch  a) 'Adults only' movies
                b) 'U/A' movies
      [And I most surely haven't watched Shaitan or Black Swan with my parent(s). :P]
8) Attend GayBombay meets/events LEGALLY. B)
9) Start a political party (?)
10) Be asked to start working for monies. :O
11) File Public Interest Litigation (PILs) and court complaints independently.
12) Skip the 'keep away from reach of children' instruction on the boxes of pills we all carelessly pop. Alternatively, I could look for children around and bug them about being children. Sadist, I. :P
13) Be called 'uncle' -__- (most children call relatively older-looking men(/boys?) 'uncle'. I once read this custom could be traced back to when the British were in India; parents of friends were then called 'uncle's and 'auntie's. We Indians generalise everything. Uncles and aunties, too. :P
14) Be called a paedophile if I happen to be interested in a 16-year old.
(He says he's post-pubescent, so no   I don't really mind the tag as long as I don't have the police hounding me :P)
15) Nerdy stuff - get my thymus gland tested and ensure that it has, in fact, not been functioning at all for about half a decade now. My parents wouldn't want that kind of an extravagance. I don't mind it. :P Did someone say nouveau-riche?
16) Give 'kids' long lectures on 'how to behave'. Aah, the joy of it.
17) Get rid of most Navneet and Sundaram books, digests and whatnot from my life for good.
18) Donate blood.
19) As somebody says, wonder how 'the moment has passed', 'the moment' being the period of peaking of IQ. IQ peaks at 17 and you (and I) get dumber and dumber. Not vegetable-dumb. Just dumb-dumb.
20) Retire to an armchair and announce to everybody around, 'Damn, I'm growing old.'



Now, I'm just going to physically do point no. 20. :P

1 comment:

  1. this is really good stuff. gives me hope. and now i'm going to steal the idea and blog about it myself, but in a different way. Jhoy, we r both (almost) 18.

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